I tried loving you so much I tried showing you everything I could to get you to see the bigger picture. You’d always only see and stay focused on the cracks, the flaws, all the damage YOU had created trying to play it off like it was WE or me that created them.
I may not hate you but that doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want anything to do with you.
I don’t have it in me to hate anyone, I feel it’s because at one point I myself was not a good person. In the end it was mostly because I had all these inner issues, and I guess I try to see it that way with everyone.
Some people are sent to make you realize your self worth.
Now that everything has fallen into place I have like this “boredom”; I spent so much time worrying about getting things done, and being sad now it’s just like what now?
Everything has been great, but now I just keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. For the first time in years it doesn’t feel like there’s another shoe.
I spent months asking why. I am finally seeing the answer.
This time last year I was in shambles, going crazy because you started becoming distant. And of course you’d deny and make me feel psychotic. Now I just got the best news of my life that was make or break for my whole future. TIME all you need is TIME and if you focus on YOU, you’ll get the happiness you deserve. I know it’s cheesy but swear I would’ve never thought my life would fall into place this good after everything.
1 year mark. It has officially been a year since everything went completely to shit, a year since I felt my life was over. The begging the crying it was all a year ago, and here I am thinking it was still months ago. I can not believe I made it this far. I can not believe that I am so unbothered by it now, it’s just like a “he did what he did, i cried and begged end of the day it wasn’t enough and now it is what it is.” The last time we spoke was in November and after that he completely cut me off and I just never heard from him again. It sucked I cried I felt so unhappy because it just seemed like it was so easy for him. Maybe this weekend I’ll update more on “diary at 21” I don’t know I feel like I’ve said everything I had to say. I feel like the more I keep talking about it, it’s just a part of me still holding on to it. I made this blog because I got tired of going to to people with the same old story crying over my ex. I wanted a way to be able to speak freely with out annoying anyone, and I can’t believe I started gaining followers just for that. It’s been a year my life is finally starting to fall into place and I couldn’t be happier seeing that happen. I know most of you probably read my stuff for quotes and stuff but I want to change that. Diary at 21 was my inner deepest thoughts to some guy who has probably forgotten about me by now. I want diary at 22 to be my after my letters to everyone who can relate. I’m hoping everyone who follows me now sticks around for that, thank you to everyone who has been an audience to this and making me feel like I’m not the only one who feels the way I feel. To everyone who related please know that one person DOES NOT define you, please know once you stop viewing a life with them and start viewing a life for yourself and only yourself you’ll be so much happier, there’s so much better for you. I was played and cheated on and treated sooo horribly, and in the end I realized I was not the problem. Sometimes you have to have faith and know everyone has their own demons to battle and sometimes they have to do it alone. I lost myself I felt crazy and now I’m so at peace with everything and everyone. I’m choosing to no longer dwell or entertain the thought of you.This is my goodbye to you.Diary at 22.